Over the past few years I have spent a lot of time being negative about autism. This was mostly because I was experiencing an entire different set of symptoms and I could not find any autism professionals who understood that. I would later find out that I had a mental illness to go along with Autism.
I truly believed that autism was going to kill me. I thought all of the delusions, hallucinations, and voices were the autism telling me that I was not good enough for anyone and I would never be neurotypical.
In 2007 I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome a high-functioning form of autism. For the first few years after that I tried to learn how to cope with autism. I was doing okay with it until late 2009 or early 2010 when I started having hallucinations and delusions. I just thought that it was a part of autism because I had not been diagnosed with anything officially at the time other than autism.
My mental illness combined with autism caused me to do some selfish things because I felt I had to do them or I was going to die. An example of that would be taking money from my business and using it to pay someone to go on a date with me.
I struggled greatly with simple business management issues and let a lot of people in the autism community down. Because of that I wanted to write this book as an apology to the autism community for the mistakes I have made while trying to cope with mental illness.
I am now receiving great therapy and feeling much better mentally. Autism does not seem so bad now when I am not having hallucinations or dealing with mental illness issues.
This book is an apology to the autism community and to parents of children with autism. Some symptoms I may have talked about or reported were more likely symptoms of the mental illness I was suffering from and are not accurate symptoms of autism.
I do still have autism but it is much easier to cope with everything autism related when you can think clearly and are not confused because of your mental illness. Autism is a beautiful thing and I am now back to enjoying my own life and living happily with autism.
This book will talk about the mistakes I have made and how I am working to correct them. In this boo I will share how I was so desperate for friendship I was willing to steal from and lie to the people that I loved and the ones who loved me the most in order to feel companionship and intimacy. Intimacy and companionship are challenging for people with autism so that part was definitely related to autism however the way in which I responded and trying to accomplish that was not. The obsessive compulsive disorder, the schizophrenia and all of the voices, hallucinations, and delusions were all a part of mental illness.
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As a youngster I did not care so much about being close to other people or making good friendships. I had my trombone and it was a special interest and passion to play music. I spent countless hours each day practicing trombone because I enjoyed music.It was not until I became an adult probably around the age of 22 that I started having…